What will be different this time?


I think back to a few years ago, I was sitting in a room at a local church for a seminar through work. I was there with most of the department, all of us sitting in our three or four rows. The speaker was talking about protecting ourselves and keeping an eye out for our brothers and sisters. They talked about keeping communication open with your family and spouses. Then the statistics came. 75% divorce rate for men in the field, 99% for women. I look around the room to the almost 100 people attending, then I look on either side of me.  Sadly, that sounds about right.  Then I think, I am one of those statistics.  I was still a bit fresh from my divorce at the time of the seminar.

One of the women who sat with me that day recently asked me, “what will be different this time?”  That got me thinking.  I’ve been asked that before with this upcoming marriage with J. I put pen to paper.

: Communication :
J and I talk more than I ever have in any other relationship.  We talk about anything and everything. He is always the first person I want to talk to whenever I need a listening ear. We check-in often about our relationship, if there are things we need to work on, or things we really like how they are working.

: Laughter :
The laughter in our house is constant and contagious.  We have our jokes that only we understand. We understand each other’s humor and are mutually weird. We make goofy faces, we make up songs together and use them as ring tones.  Before I met J, I hadn’t laughed this much in years, and now that it’s back, I never want the laughter to leave again.

: Strength in Faith :
J and I both of the same faith base, and have goals to grow in our faith individually, as well as together. While we don’t have a home church at the moment, we have taken time to do our own studies of the bible, and other faith-based books that have studies with them. God has a very present place in both our hearts, and we intend to keep it that way with our marriage as well.

: Common goals :
When I look to the future, I see J standing beside me.  I have always pictured us as one of those adorable old couples who you fall in love with as they sit holding hands on the park bench.  We have goals of making a home together, starting a family, traveling the world, creating art together.  When we look to the future, we look outward in the same direction.

: 100% support for each other :
We are there for each other in any decision that is made.  We back each other. We stand by each other. J and K – Battle Buddies 4 Life!

To say that another divorce would never happen would be foolish. I have learned my lesson in saying “never”. What I can say is that J and I are fully committed, and will do whatever it takes to make this marriage a strong and successful one. We are ready to take on the world together!

What is one thing you think every marriage must have to last?

2 thoughts on “What will be different this time?

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